Spritual surfing

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Faith is a peculiar thing. Just when you think you have it, it eludes you and starts whether or not God is indeed there. The Bible tells us He is always there, however our sin separates us. How then do we not sin? Is it even possible while we live in a fallen and sinful society, surrounded by secularity each day? The Bible tells us it is possible; ‘I can do all things through Him who strengthens me’ (Philippians 4:13). But in order to truly believe in that, we need to have faith.

Hence my dilemna. I seem to be caught in a vicious cycle. Every Sunday after a good praise and worship session or a good sermon, I feel ready to take on the world after being touched by the Holy Spirit. Somewhere along the way, just when I thought everything is going to be great, things just don't seem to go my way. So my faith gets zapped and begin to wonder if God is there. This feeling of hopelessness sometimes even carries into Sunday when we go to church, so while everyone is worshipping the Lord, I’m wondering about what is going on in my life and what God can do FOR ME. From there, my logic takes over and I begin to take things into my own hands, which of course ends up

Evertime I pray, God tells me to trust Him more. How do I trust Him if I don’t have faith? Faith comes from the Word of God, so the Bible says. But again, if I can’t even bring myself to sing a song of praise, how do I open up the Word of God to focus on what God is saying?

It’s a sucky feeling to have to go through this cycle over and over again. Each time I think I’m up there, I find myself down below again. Day in, day out I ride the tides of wavering faith.

I reckon what I’m going through now seems akin to surfing. You see a great wave, you think you can handle it so you swim out and take it on. Halfway through you get wiped out and you ask God ‘Where were You when I needed You?’ Then God picks you up and sends you out there. You get complacent and the whole cycle repeats itself. Bummer.

Maybe one day I’ll have enough material to write a book. It’ll be entitled ‘Spritual Surfing: Riding the Tides of Wavering Faith’ and go on to become a No. 1 New York Times bestseller. I’ll be filthy rich from royalties, get complacent and find myself back here again.