Outwit, outplay, outlast... my ass!

Office politics suck. Period. No matter which way you look at it, be it a matter of 'survival of the fittest' or other such similar gobbledygook. Is it too much to ask for a job that we can truly enjoy and find satisfaction in contributing to the company's growth and profitability?

Recently, two of my colleagues have been the subject of this said politics and were left with no other choice but to tender their resignation (word on the street is that they received news of their impending termination by a 'politician' of higher stature). The company pulled a little stunt by issuing a memo notifying everyone of the reduction of notice period from 3 to 2 months, paid them off and bid them adieu. Just like that.

This has left the whole office in a state of disarray and those that are truly aware (i.e. me) of their true reason for departure feel disappointed and incensed all at the same time. This sense of disarray has left me suddenly feeling somewhat drained of any motivation to work.

'Will I be next?' I wonder. Word on the street is that there are more of such similar 'executions' in the pipeline. Will I be asked to go or will I be left behind to clear up the mess, or as the Hokkiens like to say 'kio sai' (pick up the poo-poo)?

**For the benefit of those who heard the rumours floating around: My colleagues were NOT terminated for any dishonest/cheating/embezzlement cases! They left of their own accord and the company merely paid them off for their notice period.**

Top 10 lessons I learned from Hollywood movies

1. German cars are ze best because I can drive off the top floor of a multi storey carpark, crashing through a brick wall and land on the opposite building without a scratch on the car, while the police look on helplessly in their American made cars.
2. Never take a shower behind a curtain because there'll be a surprise waiting for you when you draw the curtains apart after you're done.
3. Never swim at night after the swimming pool is closed because ever so often (again) there'll be a mutated creature/serial killer waiting for you in the washroom or around some dark unlit corner.
4. If somebody screams their head off for you to 'RUUUUUN!', you jolly well run and don't kaypoh and turn around to look-see-look-see because whatever it is you're supposed to be running from will most definitely bite your head off/eat you up/suck the juices out from you and toss your shrivelled up carcass aside like a rag doll.
5. Never point a gun at a vampire/werewolf/alien because not only will it be futile, it will will just piss them off even more.
6. If you're poor and dropping out from school, you'd better have another non-academic talent to save your sorry ass and bag the chio bu at the end of the day. Dance, race cars, hack into computers, ANYTHING!
7. Don't get big headed and take on a lao jiao bad guy just because you obtained newfound powers which you never knew existed. You're just gonna get your best friend/loved one/si-fu killed and spend the rest of your days lamenting and vowing revenge.
8. Always carry A LOT of ammo when you're involved in a gun fight. Murphy's Law will just catch you with your pants down when you finally reach the bad guy.
9. When you sell your soul to the devil, make sure you have all angles covered in the contract so that he can't play you out later.
10. Never get involved in an illicit affair with your boss's daughter/wife/mistress because if she winds up dead, you're gonna have problems explaining yourself.

Marketing guru says... #2

I seriously think Marketing professionals are the most taken for granted in any corporation by their bosses. For the same reason why I love this job so much, they seem to be the people to go to when it comes to addressing any form of ambiguious query which does not fall under anybody's jurisdiction because Marketing people are expected to know everything and anything that goes on in order to function well in our job.

Sometimes, this taking for granted also extends to running errands for Accounts/Admin/Whoever because we are also supposed to be out of the office walking in the trade (checking up on our own products, stealing ideas *heheh!*) instead of sitting in the office all day and pretending to act busy (but in actual fact playing Halo with the volume turned down).

Product cost? Ask Marketing! Trade margins? Ask Marketing! Consumer can't find your products in the trade? Ask Marketing! Import procedures and AVA clearance? Ask Marketing! Cross category promotion? Ask Marketing! Buy stamps? Ask Marketing! Computer can't work? Ask Marketing!

At the end of the day, people can't exactly fathom what Marketing people actually do. Some actually think Marketing people should actually fall under the Sales Dept. Others don't even see the need to hire Marketing people, their Ah Beng salesmen just double up as Marketing personnel, thus the designation of 'Sales & Marketing Executive' was created. Seriously, whoever started this trend doesn't have an inkling whatsoever what Marketing really entails.

'Eskew me, bluller, I want to do a TVC campaign for my new plo-luck. How much har? Buy more got liscount or not? Ask your meh-jeng-jer can?'

Just like the argument of Branding vs Advertising, many people are not actually aware of the difference between Sales and Marketing, which is really sad. Like many other customs and mindsets deeply entrenced into our consciousness, Marketing people will conitnue to be seen as a bane more than a boon to many.

*MORAL OF THE STORY: It's tough to be a Marketing guy. Sales people justify themselves by bringing in sales numbers, but Marketing's sole purpose of existence is to spend the company's money to build the brand. Like Marketing Magazine's article, these ROIs are not always measurable as there are other intagible things to be taken into consideration. Shit happens (shouting matches and vulgarities involving spiders fill the air) when your boss doesn't understand that.

Nevertheless, I still love my job. Nothing beats hearing satisfied consumers raving about your products and seeing your brand go from 0 to 12% market share within a year.*

Nice day to get sunburnt

Still sleepy from the night before (Mummy and I went to watch Ninja Turtles!), we wake up one Saturday with screams of 'Mummy! Daddy! Wake up! Go beach oredi!'. Eyes still half-closed, our little monster pushes us out of bed at 9.30.

So we wash up, pack our stuff and get dressed, amidst Ah Ma's incessant nagging. 'She just recovered from her cough, hor, so why you bring her out, blah, blah, under the sun so hot, blah, blah, better don't come back sick ah, otherwise have to take medicine again, blah, blah'.

So we pack the whole troupe into the car, have some breakfast and we're off! Headed to our usual spot near the sailing club where it's less crowded and found a nice tree to set up our stuff (three straw mats and a little mini tent for Vel). Vel and I head out to the beach to play with the sand, but a short 10 mins later, I buay tahan 'cos the sun was so bloody scorching, we move our little sand play under the cooling shade of the tree.

We got bored after while, so we brought Vel into the water and just sat there to get slapped silly by the waves. Didn't last long too 'cos she got quite freaked out after a while and scurried off back into the security of her little tent.

So it's back to the lazing around on the mat. We wash Vel up and give her some milk to keep her warm, but after a while she says she's hungry (she takes after her Daddy's dietary habits) so Mummy whips out her yummy lunch of porridge with pork ribs. Me, I just laze there and look up at the sun through the trees (a weak attempt to, er, suntan my face) and it soon lulls me into a short nap.

At about 3pm, we decide to head for home. Vel is tired while Mummy and I are chao tah, beginning to feel the stinging sensation of our sunburn. And besides, the gray clouds were looming. But not before we swing by Marine Parade to pick up some stuff for our BBQ tonight. Heheh! True to my rheumatoid afflicted knees, it rains REALLY heavily by the time we leave. So much for the BBQ...