Top 10 lessons I learned from Hollywood movies

1. German cars are ze best because I can drive off the top floor of a multi storey carpark, crashing through a brick wall and land on the opposite building without a scratch on the car, while the police look on helplessly in their American made cars.
2. Never take a shower behind a curtain because there'll be a surprise waiting for you when you draw the curtains apart after you're done.
3. Never swim at night after the swimming pool is closed because ever so often (again) there'll be a mutated creature/serial killer waiting for you in the washroom or around some dark unlit corner.
4. If somebody screams their head off for you to 'RUUUUUN!', you jolly well run and don't kaypoh and turn around to look-see-look-see because whatever it is you're supposed to be running from will most definitely bite your head off/eat you up/suck the juices out from you and toss your shrivelled up carcass aside like a rag doll.
5. Never point a gun at a vampire/werewolf/alien because not only will it be futile, it will will just piss them off even more.
6. If you're poor and dropping out from school, you'd better have another non-academic talent to save your sorry ass and bag the chio bu at the end of the day. Dance, race cars, hack into computers, ANYTHING!
7. Don't get big headed and take on a lao jiao bad guy just because you obtained newfound powers which you never knew existed. You're just gonna get your best friend/loved one/si-fu killed and spend the rest of your days lamenting and vowing revenge.
8. Always carry A LOT of ammo when you're involved in a gun fight. Murphy's Law will just catch you with your pants down when you finally reach the bad guy.
9. When you sell your soul to the devil, make sure you have all angles covered in the contract so that he can't play you out later.
10. Never get involved in an illicit affair with your boss's daughter/wife/mistress because if she winds up dead, you're gonna have problems explaining yourself.