God's voice

Couldn't sleep on Saturday night thinking about the imminent 'termination' coming along. Like the words in Cats in the Cradle, there are 'planes to catch and bills to pay'. Despite the Bible telling us that worrying is as big a sin as any (click here to read in context), I couldn't help but worry as I tossed about my bed. Thoughts that went running through my head included (but not restricted to) how to pay our bills, how to buy the air ticket for Estella (our helper) to go back home at the end of the month when her contract ends, how to pay for Vel's school fees next month, am I going to compromise on my tithing again?

I thought, 'Hey no point worrying, maybe I'll get up and surf the employment websites and see if there are any openings'.

Eyes half closed, I dragged myself out of bed at 11.45pm to turn on my PC. For some reason, it didn't work. Sure the CPU came on with lights blinking and all. But the screen was blank. I tried it again for another 3 times. Didn't work.

I joked to myself, 'Heheh, maybe God is telling me to go to sleep 'cos I'm drumming in church tomorrow' which I was SOOOOO looking forward to.

So I turned in and said a little prayer before I slept. I told God to take away all my burdens so I could just stop bloddy thinking and go to sleep! Soon enough I dozed off.

And then it came, a voice which sounded like mine but yet it wasn't. So full and reassuring. So comforting like an old friend you hadn't met in ages. It sounded so close like He was sitting on the bed next to me, talking into my ear.

I can't remember the exact words, but He said something along the lines like, 'Don't worry, everything will be okay. If you trust Me, I will set things right for you. All you have to do is believe'.

Then logic took over and I woke up with a start. I remember thinking, 'What the f**k?! Who was that?! I thought I was sleeping?!' I didn't give it much thought as I was already stoned. A quick glance at my watch revealed that it was already 12.30am, so I just plonked my head back onto my pillow and went back to Snoozeland.

Next day, woke up as usual at 7am all hyped up. Went to church and rocked the house with the worship team (although I screwed up a bit here and there, don't think anyone noticed. Ha!). Headed straight home after service 'cos Mummy was at home with Vel who wasn't feeling well.

After gobbling down my lunch, I remembered the PC and grumbled to Penny 'Computer spoil again, blah, blah... KNN, just had it repaired, blah, blah...'. When I turned it on, it worked just fine. I rebooted it twice just to be sure it wasn't a fluke.

I wanted to cry.