Marketing guru says... #3

There are good ads and there are bad ads. The good ones will make you laugh, cry and leave a lasting impression in your head. The bad ones, obviously, will make you go 'Aiyoh? What on earth was that about?!'.

Examples of the former: the new McDonald's 'Serving you great moments, anytime, anywhere' campaign. I think they ripped the 'KFC moments' campaign but that's another story for another day. The emo TVC shows different people engaged in different activities throughout the day, all involving McD products and some in a McD restaurant. Tugs at my heartstrings and makes me wanna cry. Brings back memories of the McD in World Trade Centre (the old one facing the sea, the site where the Cruise Centre sits presently) where I used to hang out with my buddies after 'house practise', when the Cheesburger was still $1.20 and a small soft drink cost only $0.90. But the real reason why I wanna cry is because I recall an occassion where we ran after the bus to go back to school and dropped my soft drink. Half my lunch gone in a whiff. Major bummer.

Examples of the latter: 987FM's 'Live life dangerously' campaign. Or 'on the edge' or whatever. See, it's so bad I can't even recall the tagline. The cringe-worthy TVC has this guy walking down the street with a boombox on his shoulder and almost gets the antenna entangled onto some power lines hanging overhead. Then the tagline comes out. Maybe I'm just dense or maybe I'm not the target audience (i.e. the 'cool' and 'funky' crowd), but I totally don't get that at all.

Then there are others in between. They are neither good nor bad, but rather just make you scratch your head. Examples would include the Axe Oil bus ad. Makes me wonder who approved that creative. It never fails to give me a headache whenever I see it. But perhaps that's the whole idea, to link the bus ad to headaches. On that note I would say that ad works.

Another exmaple would be the Sheng Siong TVC. The 'All About You' tagline reminds of an old Hokkien evergrenn Long Si Wee Tio Li. Translated it mean 'it's all for you' or 'it's all because of you'. It's one of those heart-wrenching songs about unrequited love (but then again most Hokkien oldies are) that is always a hot favourite among senior citizen recreation clubs on karaoke nights. Given the target market of Sheng Siong, I would say this one works as well. Though the cheesy acting on the TVC makes my hair stand.

*MORAL OF THE STORY: if you got something to say, make sure you say it right so that people will remember it! Ask anyone about the old Ribena TVC, they'll tell you 'My mother said it's good for me'.

3.47% ain't so bad

Just as I was whining about my slim chance of getting a new flat, I found out my 4676 queue number wasn't so bad after all. Was having a chat with my friend Clif about this whole hoopla, who also submitted his application. It went something like this:

Clif: So you receive your HDB number yet?

Me: Yah. Damn jia lat, got 4676 leh. I think this time round also xiong duo ji shao one (literally translated from Mandarin it means 'breast much, squeeze little', a crude way of depicting yourself stuck in a situation where the odds are stacked greatly against you).

Clif: Eh? Buay pai leh! I got 10,000 plus leh.

Me: WTF??

I don't know what scared me more. That he got a '10,000 plus' queue number out of 10,200 despite submitting his application earlier than mine. Or his nonchalance about the whole thing suggesting his epathy towards our so-called systematic government.

Our 3.47% chance of getting a new flat

Penny and I were overjoyed when HDB released another batch of flats for sale last week. Elated, we filled up the online forms and duly paid the $10 'admin fee' to get in the line.

Today, we received an email saying we are 4676 out of 10,200 applicants. And we thought we had some priviledges due to the fact that we are first time applicants and had a senior citizen living with us. The exact contents of the mail read as follows:

'About 10,000 applicants have applied for the 354 flats offered for sale. Applicants with queue number 3001 and above will be informed of their selection appointment if there are flats still available before their turn is due.'

No shit, Sherlock. There are only 354 flats available for 10,000 applicants, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the units we singled out would more probably than not be taken up even faster than I can say 'gobbledygook'. Not to mention that overnight these people have earned $100,000. Looks like they've got their bonus covered for the year.

Bollocks.

Top 10 things that still amaze me

1. Criss Angel - Creepy guy who freaks me out more than Freddy Krueger. I've seen illusionists and I've seen illusionists, but this guy is a SORCERER!! Those are not illusions!!
   
   
2. For all the millions (or billions) he's worth, Donald Trump still can't get a decent haircut. Or a nicer wig.
   
   
3. Why Geekus Maximus Bill Gates can't get a trendier pair of glasses. Why does he insist on sticking with that geeky pair? Does that make him look more credible?
   
   
4. Why is the CTE always jammed up? Are the numerous ERP gantries helping the situation?
   
   
5. People who cold call me and tell me that I've won a prize and I need to go down to their office to collect it. Hello?? Didn't anybody tell them that doesn't work anymore?
   
   
6. Kids who go around hawker centres selling donation tickets for 'charity'. Sorry, but once bitten, thrice shy. Regardless whether it's genuine or not, these poor kids only have one person to blame - T.T. Durai.
   
   
7. Why people still insist on whining after buying poor quality pirated DVDs from friendly peddlers who go knocking from door to door. Hello?? They are called pirated for a reason! It's akin to eating at a roadside stall and complaining that there's a fly in your soup.
   
   
8. People who just ignore those tissue sellers at hawker centres and continue on as if they're invisible. Is it so difficult to just look up and say 'No thank you'?
   
   
9. Why Singaporeans can still go to Sentosa every weekend and 'chill out' on the beach. What's there to do there? Swim among the waste discharged from the many ships parked out further in the sea? We are a sad bunch, us Singaporeans.
   
   
10. The girl I saw on the news crying when she got her hands on the latest Harry Potter book. I mean it's a great story and all, but come on lah, it's just a fictional story! I didn't cry when the credits from Star Wars Ep. III started rolling!

Unemployment phase: week 1

One week into my unemployment phase and I'm bored to tears. Most of the time last week was spent sending Vel to the Chinese physician to seek treatment for her mor dan (or URTI 'due tot a viral infection' to the Western doctors who didn't have a rat's ass of a clue as to what was actually afflicting her).

My throat started to itch on Sunday after church (too much singing perhaps?) and yesterday I came down with a fever. I promised Penny I wouldn't watch Flashpoint without her, so I popped SPL into the DVD player to get my Donnie Yen fix. The guy is smoking for his age!

Head was spinning this morning as I headed off for my meeting with the job agency. Came home and tried to take a nap. But some people just have to pace back and forth just outside my room to yak on the phone.So I woke up and headed off to Excelsior Shopping Arcade to try my luck at Drum Resources. They were finally open! Picked out a few pairs of sticks and a bag to chuck everything in. After a 12 year hiatus, I was ready to rock and roll again! Praise the Lord!

Headed off to Cerebos for my interview despite my pounding head. Don't think the interviewers thought very much of me as I was mumbling and slurring incoherently throughout the session. Thanks in part to the lozenge I was sucking on as my throat was REALLY hurting. The session only lasted for about 30 mins, so I guess they probably couldn't wait to throw me out.

Went to church to jam with the team and got a chance to warm up my new gear. My head was still spinning so I screwed up quite a bit. Hope I can get my act together by Sunday.

When I got home there was only one thing on my mind: paracetemol.

So long, farewell and goodbye...

It sucks to be retrenched. Somehow, it just feels weird to be asked to leave not because you’re incapable of carrying out your tasks, but because the company is screwed up and had to close shop just slightly less than 2 years after its inception.

The whole office was abuzz with excitement since the beginning of the day. We all knew what was coming. I was busy packing my stuff (my beloved toys especially, placing them back into their original packaging) and I didn’t realise I had so much junk to clear! Unknowingly, the office had become like a second home to me and when I first joined the company, I could see myself staying on for quite a while. Little did I expect that the 'a while' would only last a mere 1 year and 11 months.

I was the first to get the letter, so when I came out of the room, I put on a MediaCorp Star Search worthy performance and pretended to cry, 'Wah lau eh! Teow pok liao ah!' (means to get axed or fired in Hokkien). It cracked everybody up. Funnily enough, the people who were asked to leave were the ones laughing and joking. I guess we felt more relief than anything else that we were all being pulled out of a shithole.

The ones who really cried, however, were those who were asked to stay. I'm sure they could see the huge pile of mess that they would have to clear in the days to come before the company FINALLY decides to call it quits (the phones were already ringing non-stop with calls from stores that did not receive their bread for the day).

God knows when will that be. But I'm really glad He pulled me out so that I won't be around to find out. It's really sad and disappointing that it had to end like this. We were capable of so much more, if only the management had more foresight. But it was definitely fun while it lasted.