Our 3.47% chance of getting a new flat

Penny and I were overjoyed when HDB released another batch of flats for sale last week. Elated, we filled up the online forms and duly paid the $10 'admin fee' to get in the line.

Today, we received an email saying we are 4676 out of 10,200 applicants. And we thought we had some priviledges due to the fact that we are first time applicants and had a senior citizen living with us. The exact contents of the mail read as follows:

'About 10,000 applicants have applied for the 354 flats offered for sale. Applicants with queue number 3001 and above will be informed of their selection appointment if there are flats still available before their turn is due.'

No shit, Sherlock. There are only 354 flats available for 10,000 applicants, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the units we singled out would more probably than not be taken up even faster than I can say 'gobbledygook'. Not to mention that overnight these people have earned $100,000. Looks like they've got their bonus covered for the year.

Bollocks.

Top 10 things that still amaze me

1. Criss Angel - Creepy guy who freaks me out more than Freddy Krueger. I've seen illusionists and I've seen illusionists, but this guy is a SORCERER!! Those are not illusions!!
   
   
2. For all the millions (or billions) he's worth, Donald Trump still can't get a decent haircut. Or a nicer wig.
   
   
3. Why Geekus Maximus Bill Gates can't get a trendier pair of glasses. Why does he insist on sticking with that geeky pair? Does that make him look more credible?
   
   
4. Why is the CTE always jammed up? Are the numerous ERP gantries helping the situation?
   
   
5. People who cold call me and tell me that I've won a prize and I need to go down to their office to collect it. Hello?? Didn't anybody tell them that doesn't work anymore?
   
   
6. Kids who go around hawker centres selling donation tickets for 'charity'. Sorry, but once bitten, thrice shy. Regardless whether it's genuine or not, these poor kids only have one person to blame - T.T. Durai.
   
   
7. Why people still insist on whining after buying poor quality pirated DVDs from friendly peddlers who go knocking from door to door. Hello?? They are called pirated for a reason! It's akin to eating at a roadside stall and complaining that there's a fly in your soup.
   
   
8. People who just ignore those tissue sellers at hawker centres and continue on as if they're invisible. Is it so difficult to just look up and say 'No thank you'?
   
   
9. Why Singaporeans can still go to Sentosa every weekend and 'chill out' on the beach. What's there to do there? Swim among the waste discharged from the many ships parked out further in the sea? We are a sad bunch, us Singaporeans.
   
   
10. The girl I saw on the news crying when she got her hands on the latest Harry Potter book. I mean it's a great story and all, but come on lah, it's just a fictional story! I didn't cry when the credits from Star Wars Ep. III started rolling!

Unemployment phase: week 1

One week into my unemployment phase and I'm bored to tears. Most of the time last week was spent sending Vel to the Chinese physician to seek treatment for her mor dan (or URTI 'due tot a viral infection' to the Western doctors who didn't have a rat's ass of a clue as to what was actually afflicting her).

My throat started to itch on Sunday after church (too much singing perhaps?) and yesterday I came down with a fever. I promised Penny I wouldn't watch Flashpoint without her, so I popped SPL into the DVD player to get my Donnie Yen fix. The guy is smoking for his age!

Head was spinning this morning as I headed off for my meeting with the job agency. Came home and tried to take a nap. But some people just have to pace back and forth just outside my room to yak on the phone.So I woke up and headed off to Excelsior Shopping Arcade to try my luck at Drum Resources. They were finally open! Picked out a few pairs of sticks and a bag to chuck everything in. After a 12 year hiatus, I was ready to rock and roll again! Praise the Lord!

Headed off to Cerebos for my interview despite my pounding head. Don't think the interviewers thought very much of me as I was mumbling and slurring incoherently throughout the session. Thanks in part to the lozenge I was sucking on as my throat was REALLY hurting. The session only lasted for about 30 mins, so I guess they probably couldn't wait to throw me out.

Went to church to jam with the team and got a chance to warm up my new gear. My head was still spinning so I screwed up quite a bit. Hope I can get my act together by Sunday.

When I got home there was only one thing on my mind: paracetemol.

So long, farewell and goodbye...

It sucks to be retrenched. Somehow, it just feels weird to be asked to leave not because you’re incapable of carrying out your tasks, but because the company is screwed up and had to close shop just slightly less than 2 years after its inception.

The whole office was abuzz with excitement since the beginning of the day. We all knew what was coming. I was busy packing my stuff (my beloved toys especially, placing them back into their original packaging) and I didn’t realise I had so much junk to clear! Unknowingly, the office had become like a second home to me and when I first joined the company, I could see myself staying on for quite a while. Little did I expect that the 'a while' would only last a mere 1 year and 11 months.

I was the first to get the letter, so when I came out of the room, I put on a MediaCorp Star Search worthy performance and pretended to cry, 'Wah lau eh! Teow pok liao ah!' (means to get axed or fired in Hokkien). It cracked everybody up. Funnily enough, the people who were asked to leave were the ones laughing and joking. I guess we felt more relief than anything else that we were all being pulled out of a shithole.

The ones who really cried, however, were those who were asked to stay. I'm sure they could see the huge pile of mess that they would have to clear in the days to come before the company FINALLY decides to call it quits (the phones were already ringing non-stop with calls from stores that did not receive their bread for the day).

God knows when will that be. But I'm really glad He pulled me out so that I won't be around to find out. It's really sad and disappointing that it had to end like this. We were capable of so much more, if only the management had more foresight. But it was definitely fun while it lasted.

God's voice

Couldn't sleep on Saturday night thinking about the imminent 'termination' coming along. Like the words in Cats in the Cradle, there are 'planes to catch and bills to pay'. Despite the Bible telling us that worrying is as big a sin as any (click here to read in context), I couldn't help but worry as I tossed about my bed. Thoughts that went running through my head included (but not restricted to) how to pay our bills, how to buy the air ticket for Estella (our helper) to go back home at the end of the month when her contract ends, how to pay for Vel's school fees next month, am I going to compromise on my tithing again?

I thought, 'Hey no point worrying, maybe I'll get up and surf the employment websites and see if there are any openings'.

Eyes half closed, I dragged myself out of bed at 11.45pm to turn on my PC. For some reason, it didn't work. Sure the CPU came on with lights blinking and all. But the screen was blank. I tried it again for another 3 times. Didn't work.

I joked to myself, 'Heheh, maybe God is telling me to go to sleep 'cos I'm drumming in church tomorrow' which I was SOOOOO looking forward to.

So I turned in and said a little prayer before I slept. I told God to take away all my burdens so I could just stop bloddy thinking and go to sleep! Soon enough I dozed off.

And then it came, a voice which sounded like mine but yet it wasn't. So full and reassuring. So comforting like an old friend you hadn't met in ages. It sounded so close like He was sitting on the bed next to me, talking into my ear.

I can't remember the exact words, but He said something along the lines like, 'Don't worry, everything will be okay. If you trust Me, I will set things right for you. All you have to do is believe'.

Then logic took over and I woke up with a start. I remember thinking, 'What the f**k?! Who was that?! I thought I was sleeping?!' I didn't give it much thought as I was already stoned. A quick glance at my watch revealed that it was already 12.30am, so I just plonked my head back onto my pillow and went back to Snoozeland.

Next day, woke up as usual at 7am all hyped up. Went to church and rocked the house with the worship team (although I screwed up a bit here and there, don't think anyone noticed. Ha!). Headed straight home after service 'cos Mummy was at home with Vel who wasn't feeling well.

After gobbling down my lunch, I remembered the PC and grumbled to Penny 'Computer spoil again, blah, blah... KNN, just had it repaired, blah, blah...'. When I turned it on, it worked just fine. I rebooted it twice just to be sure it wasn't a fluke.

I wanted to cry.

Same s**t, different day...

I've said it once and I'll say it again, office politics suck. A few months back, some colleagues of mine quit when they got wind that their head was on the chopping board by someone higher up eager to cover his own ass (read more about it here). Apparently now the WHOLE FREAKING OFFICE is on the chopping board. Well, not exactly the whole office because the company is still under some cotractual manufacturing agreement so my guess is they'll maintain a skeleton crew till that contract is over.

But this move is, again, the brainchild of that same person. Now the Singapore office is being made the scapegoat of the company's downslide ever since our crisis last year. This move, I reckon, is to restore the shareholders' confidence that the company is indeed making plans to climb out of the red.

Bastards.

Good 'ol days gone by

Came across this old man selling eggs at Boon Keng market. Probably fresh from the farm and still warm! Just a simple set up and his 'stall' was bustling with people. Stalls such as these are reminders to us of days gone by and how simple life used to be. Other treasures at the market are a retro stationery shop (with glass cabinets no less!) and a retro Chinese barber with faded posters of Liu Wen Zheng, New Kids On The Block and other retro pop idols on the walls and that spinning red/blue/white thingie outside the shop. Awesome!

Speaking of retro, we were at Steeples the other day after our usual Saturday swimming session. Nobody does burgers and milkshakes like they do. Had a Teriyaki Burger and a Chocolate Peanut Butter Shake. We had a marvellous Waldorf Salad as well.

For those who are sentimental (like us) and miss the good 'ol juicy, handmade beef patties and milkshakes reminiscent of 1950s American diners, go to Steeples at Tanglin Shopping Centre (they are tucked away in a little corner on the 3rd level). The place is small and the Auntie at the counter may give you the 'take it or leave it' kind of face, but like all good things it's always worth the wait. Even the menu is still written in chalk!